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Joke of the Day
"Can you imagine life without women? It would be a pain in the ass."
Next Joke
"My girlfriend told me to stop singing Oasis... I said maybe."
"How do you stop a dog from humping your leg? ... you pick him up and suck his dick."
"Why did the cat get arrested for playing a violin? Because it was a kitty fiddler."
"My wife tripped and dropped the basket of clothes she'd just ironed. It may sound far-fetched but it's true. I watched it all unfold."
"As a professional standup comedian I never do self-derogatory jokes I keep my personal life away from my professional life."
"A Priest walks in to a hotel to check in... And he asks the clerk at the front desk, ""Is the pornography disabled in my room?"" The clerk responds, ""No, it's regular porn you sick fuck!"""
"Knock Knock Who's there ! Chicken ! Chicken who ? Chicken your pockets - I think your keys are there !s"
"You're not completely useless... You can be used as a bad example. *Heard Collin Farrell say this to Jimmy Fallon and laughed haha*"
"My girlfriend is amazing, she is a Chinese food chef So shes very Lo Mein-tenance"