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Joke of the Day
"How do you piss off a historian? Give them a tampon and say what period is this from?"
Next Joke
"Doctor, reading chart: ""Says here you're improving!"" Doctor: ""...Oops."" *slowly turns chart rightside up*"
"*hears noise downstairs *wakes up husband so he can go get murdered first"
"How do Mexican cut pizza? Little Caesars."
"Average Guy: [writes her a song] Girl: ""Yeah, whatever."" Hot Guy: ""Sup."" Girl: ""Oh my god, you're so creative!"""
"TIFU by mixing up my wives subway orders. I gave Lucy's to Rosa, and Rosa's to Lucy."
"Once you go Black Eyed Peas... You never go Back Eyed Peas Source:LJW9"
"What else was the man with two penises thankful for? Being ambidextrous."
"Hey ladies, you realize that you're not required to look at every mirror you come across, right?"
"25 pumpkins only 90's kids could spice"