192764
Joke of the Day
"The best contraceptive for old people is nudity. "
Next Joke
"worst day of my life, my girlfriend told me she was pregnant..... and I found out Wal-Mart doesn't sell metal coat hangers anymore."
"I swear I can hear Google sigh every time I start typing in their search bar."
"Dentist: Did you deliberately loosen this tooth? Me: Why would I do that? D: ok...[extracts tooth & hands me a lolly] Me: *winks at camera*"
"As the anesthetic knocks you out, your surgeon washes his hands and misses a really easy shot into the garbage with the paper towel."
"Hey girl are your parents retarded? Because you're special."
"[Marriage Counseling] Her: he always mixes two common sayings together that aren't relevant Me: well, blood is thicker than the early bird"
"if a child of mine is ever incredibly muscular at birth i would consider naming it XERXES in all caps like that"
"[2 monkeys in a bath] Monkey 1: OOOHH OOHH AHH AHHH AHAH!! Monkey 2: If it's too hot Colin, put some cold water in"
"What did one tectonic plate say to the other after the earthquake? That was your fault!!!"