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Joke of the Day

"Women like you are hard to find.. My ex wanted to know if still thought of her. Quite often I said. ""Women like you are hard to find. Most of you are in state hospitals."""

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"Did you hear about the Afghan Rastafarian? He was stoned."
"Why did god invent patchouli? So blind people can hate hippies too."
"Dark humour is like food Some people just don't get it"
"If you don't like being a door mat....then get off the floor"
"""I see your bet and raise you all my hair since 6th grade. Oh and this pen."" ""Sir that's not- ""You got a problem with pens?"""
"Half of all marriages end in divorce. That's not so bad. The other half end in death!"
"DAD: I can't believe you bought me a house for Christmas SON: I hope you enjoy it DAD: I'm just gonna... SON: Oh no DAD: Live in the present"
"So my close friends kid wanted to be Batman. So a murdered his parents after giving them tickets to the opera. He doesn't seem so keen now."
"I hate math.. I'll give you a number of reasons why!"