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Joke of the Day

"So my close friends kid wanted to be Batman. So a murdered his parents after giving them tickets to the opera. He doesn't seem so keen now."

"A mechanical engineers wife comes out of delivery. She texts him She texts him : ""your new vehicle has been launched"". He replies : "" is it with gear stick or automatic?"""

"just remember before you let yourself get riled up over The Grammys.. Who Let The Dogs Out won a grammy"

"What do you get if you put four economists in a white room and ask them what colour the walls are? Four different answers"

"When a guy wearing cargo pants hits on me I'm tempted to go out with him just to see how many of my belongings I can fit into his pockets."

"Teacher: What's 2 and 2 Pupil: 4 Teacher: That's good Pupil: Good ? that's perfect !"

"I have sex almost every night! Almost Monday night, almost Tuesday night..."

"Why did Mr. T reject Socialism? Because he stumbled across a quote by Karl Marx which said: ""All you have to lose is your chains."""

"What is a Fecalpheliac's favorite time of day? Ate Turdy"

"I think the blue states should get the taco trucks first, and the red states have to wait, because elections have consequences."