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Joke of the Day

"DAD: I can't believe you bought me a house for Christmas SON: I hope you enjoy it DAD: I'm just gonna... SON: Oh no DAD: Live in the present"

"What do computers and air conditioners have in common? Neither work when you open windows."

"Everyone in my class is autistic What else would ya expect in the Hahvahd School of Aht and Desahn?"

"I'm going to have to sit my mom down Apparently she has had sex with everyone on xbox live."

"Just found out Fox News's website has a Science section, which I assume links to a video of Sean Hannity screaming at a biology textbook."

"Why couldn't Elsa hold on to a balloon? She would always let it go."

"there are 2 reasons why I dont take my GF on a long ride with Audi R8 Firstly, i have no GF and secondly I have no Audi R8."

"Charlie Sheen's real name is Carlos Irwin Estevez. Related: Everything you think you know is a lie."

"I want to make a BDSM joke but I keep getting tied up on the punchline"

"What was Beethoven's favorite fruit? Ba-Na-Na-Na"