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Joke of the Day

"Tit for tat My old aunts would come and tease me at weddings, ""Well Shona? Do you think you'll be next?"" We settled this quickly once I started doing the same to them at funerals."

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"When I die donate my body to science Science: No thanks we're good"
"Q: What do you call it when a cat bites? - A: Catnip!"
"Obama is the first president to visit a federal prison. Hes also the first black man to be let OUT of a federal prison"
"Women are so desperate... 4 missed calls and 8 new text messages, CALM THE FUCK DOWN MOTHER!"
"Did you hear about the household appliance that eats ants and records TV shows? It's the VCRdvard"
"[DARK] A bulky muslim man walks into a gay bar... He says ""EVERYONE, WANNA SEE THESE GUNS??"" Everyone ""YEEEAAAHHH!!!"" And. Thats how Orlando happened. And dark humor is never too soon :)"
"If I'm ever on life support, I want you to pull up he plug... Then wait 10 seconds and plug it back in, maybe that'll work."
"Ladies and gentlemen, Testicles. That is all."
"Say the punchline first. Wait, I mean, how do you ruin a good joke?"