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Joke of the Day

"Say the punchline first. Wait, I mean, how do you ruin a good joke?"

"If you shout ""I am a STRONG BLACK woman"" in front of the mirror enough times then security comes and drags you out of the Gap changing room."

"What would Voldemort name his pet tortoise ? Voldetort."

"[God-awful OC] What do you call someone who lets people rent wifi signals from them? The lanlord!"

"Why did the suicidal man cross the road? Because he wanted to play chicken."

"I kept pouring water on my Iphone.. because Siri won't tell me where the terrorists are."

"Q: Who is Scooby-Doo's evil twin? A: Scooby-Don't."

"You know what really gets on my nerves? myelin"

"Wife: Are you even listening to me? Me: Of course W: Oh yeah, what did I say? M: [smoke bomb] W: I can still see you M: [Another smoke bomb]"

"I'm a schizophrenic And so am I"