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Joke of the Day

"I once illegally parked my vechile at a Foot Fetishists Convention to grab some good next door My vehicle got toed."

"Never trust your kids. You know who their parents are."

"Bye bye Wheaties Bruce Jenner just signed a promotional contact with Quaker State. They're going to start putting his face on every quart of Tranny Fluid."

"What's a pirate's favorite subreddit? /r/matey"

"What do you call a drummer without a girlfriend? Homeless"

"I think Oranges were named before Carrots ""What are these?"" ""They're orange....oranges"" ""What about these"" ""Shit....long pointys???"" Demitri Martin https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jYVrp_GsinE"

"How do you get Akbar to shut up? Muzzle'm."

"How do you help a sick ghost feel better? Give it a BOO-quet of flowers!"

"What is the good thing about Alzheimer's disease? That you get to meet new people everyday!"

"If a mad scientist ever clones me, throw a cube of cheese in the air. The faster one is me."