74587

Joke of the Day

"How do astronomers organize a party? They planet."

"Why did Hitler's Bed'n Breakfast fail? The only thing he served for breakfast was concentrated juice."

"Flung my bra across the room and it sailed right into the drawer, if any of you are looking to start a basketball team that uses bras."

"Why does Sia live in a low-rent apartment? She loves cheap bills"

"Me: Most of all, remember to be kind to yourself. You deserve it. Neighbor: If you don't stay out of my heating duct I'm calling the cops."

"What did the electrician say while swimming across a river? ""Oh my God, that's a lot of current!"""

"What's the difference between Indians and Pakistanis? When a Pakistani has a red dot on his forehead it means he has about two seconds to live."

"I was going to make a terrific joke about a bank... ..but then I lost interest."

"What do you call Nitrogen after the sunrises? Daytrogen."

"Tonight, people who are weaker, slower, and dumber than you will deliver bags of treats to your very doorstep. Seize this moment."