102468

Joke of the Day

"Which pool ball do guys most commonly stick up their ass? The cue ball so they don't have to buy a whole set when it gets stuck Edit: It doesn't matter because you can buy individual billiards balls"

"Why is Darth Vader black? Because he left his son."

"when i was a kid my father caught me wearing a ponytail so he sat me down and made me eat an entire steven seagal movie"

"The room is 15$ a night. Innkeeper: The room is $15 a night. It's $5 if you make your own bed. Guest: I'll make my own bed. Innkeeper: Good. I'll get you some nails and wood."

"As I was finishing a round of golf during a lightning storm, I was suddenly struck ...by how peaceful my game was with no one else on the course. I should do this more often!"

"What's long and hard on a black man? The first grade."

"(Arrives in rescue boat to aid sinking cruise ship full of today's pop artists, saves only Lorde and Sia, speeds away)"

"I just saw a guy running a race and masturbating at the same time. I wonder what place he'll come in."

"Now that it's abandoned nudes, I hope Playboy goes with its other major brand identity and becomes a magazine about a very fancy rabbit."

"I helped a little old lady at the market today.. She was too short to grab a box of cereal from the top shelf, so I stood on her shoulders!"