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Joke of the Day

"A bird just landed on Bernie Sanders' podium during a speech It's a shame it was just a bird and not 800 delegates"

"What's the difference between Hillary Clinton and Bill Clinton? Bill has had sex in the White House."

"A fish asked a lobster why he gets boiled alive The lobster replied ""your face looks boiled"" The fish says ""I guess you can't be roasted"""

"Did the depressed rope maker succeed? Sadly, he did knot."

"The Masochist begged the Sadist, ""Beat me, beat me!!"" The Sadist said, ""No"""

"The Swedish word gratrunka means crying while masturbating. It's a real tear jerker"

"I like Tuesday simply because it is literally the furthest from next Monday I can possibly be."

"I think you scientists did a great job of making old people's d-i-c-k-s hard. How 'bout you guys take a look at cancer and stuff now."

"my friend told me onions are the only food that make you cry.. so I smacked him in the face with a watermelon. <_<"

"What does a horny frog say? Rub it- rub it"