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Joke of the Day

"my friend told me onions are the only food that make you cry.. so I smacked him in the face with a watermelon. <_<"

"Ordering at Chipotle: ""With white rice."" ""Brown?"" ""No, white. And chicken."" ""Steak?"" ""No, chicken. And medium salsa."" ""Mild?"" ""No, medium."""

"Why do Canadians prefer their jokes in hexidecimal? Because 7 8 9 A"

"If you want to give me dirty looks for being at the liquor store at 9am, don't be open."

"Twitter would be a lot more interesting if when you hit someone with your car, you got their followers."

"How do you circumcise a whale? Four skin divers"

"Riding a big girl is like riding a moped... Its okay until someone sees you"

"How many cops does it take to change a light bulb? None. They just beat the room for being black."

"I swear to drunk I'm not God, but seriously, stay in drugs, eat school, and don't do vegetables."

"If you drink enough, your brain starts photo-shopping people."