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Joke of the Day

"(Warning - Shitty Pun) What do you call a mentally-deficient louse? A *Retardigrade* &nbsp; I'll see myself out now."

"PREGNANT CASHIER: Have a great day ME: Thanks, have a great baby"

"Why didn't the cellphone attend the wedding? He heard the reception was going to be terrible..."

"What does an elderly Mexican have? Senority"

"What DOESN'T Bruce want for Christmas from his ex? A Krismas goose."

"I've said it before, I'll say it again. It."

"When I think about you, I touch myself. In the face. With my fist."

"What do you call a masturbating bull? Beef Stroganoff"

"Dear guy who parked his Lexus across two parking spaces: Your car got paint on my keys."

"What do you call a chain of singing islands? An acapellago."