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Joke of the Day

"When I think about you, I touch myself. In the face. With my fist."

"I think we should line up all the presidential candidates and see which one a dog doesn't bark at. That person should become president."

"Q: How do you make a violin sound like a viola? A: Play in the low register with a lot of wrong notes."

"What is the stinkiest businessman? Entra-Manure"

"Those Weren't Raisinets: A Mouse Tale"

"There are 10 types of people in this world... Those who understand binary, those who don't, and those who didn't expect this joke to be in base 3."

"I tell people I'm narcoleptic so if I fall asleep when they're talking to me I don't seem rude."

"Thought of this whilst snacking. If one chick pea kills another chick pea... Is that considered Humuscide?"

"Q: How did the hermit pay for his home? A: Alone."

"An old man is running through the halls of an old-folks home wearing a cape and yelling ""Super Sex! Super Sex!"" An old lady pokes her head out of her room and says, ""I'll have the soup."""