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Joke of the Day

"Text Flirting Tip: Don't reply immediately. Play it cool, wait for a minute, then eventually forget to reply and ruin everything."

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"When I was 20 I took a vow of celibacy... My wife however called them ""wedding vows"""
"I had my prostate examined the other day. After it was all over, the doctor left at the same time the nurse came in, and whispered the three words no one wants to hear. Who was that?"
"You know you are successful when ... Girls from school who ignored you on facebook back in the day all of a sudden want to add you on linkedin."
"It's disturbing when the water pressure in a drinking fountain drops when a toilet is flushed, but even more so when it gets stronger."
"What do you get when you cross a fishing rod with mud? a dirty hooker"
"What's worse than ants in your pants? Uncles in your pants"
"We haven't spent a dime for snake food since I discovered all the free pets on craigslist."
"What do you call an old man selling plums? An entrepruner."
"As a child, my family's menu consisted of two choices - take it or leave it."
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