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Joke of the Day
"I could kill you with kindness, but shoving you into traffic just saves so much time."
Next Joke
"Who wrote ""The Tiger's Revenge""? Claude Balls"
"Since joining Twitter, about 8 aggressive lampposts have walked up to me in the street and punched me in the face."
"So the other day, my friend told me that I have no idea what irony meant... Which was pretty ironic, considering we were at a bus stop."
"This just in, Beverly Hills, 90210 Cleveland Browns, 3 >Credit to Colin Mochrie from *Whose Line Is It Anyway?*"
"Have you heard of the movie called constipation? No? Because it has not come out yet"
"Before Facebook, I had told maybe six people ""Happy Birthday,"" ever."
"What are the 5 best Vegetables of all time? tink about it. Gai lan, gai lan... gai lan, gai lan, and gai lan. (thanks to Chapelle show skit((making the band)))"
"2 wrongs don't make a right But 3 rights make a left"
"""Hello this is your captain speaking. I have fallen out of the plane yikes lol. Very impressed with the range on this Bluetooth headset tho"""