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Joke of the Day
"I could kill you with kindness, but shoving you into traffic just saves so much time."
Next Joke
"The hour I lose from daylight savings time will now be multiplied by 6 as I try to change the time on the clock in my car."
"""Do you ever get the feeling you're being watched?"" [from the bushes] ""No"""
"A man walks into a bar and orders a Manhattan. The drink comes and he sees a piece of parsley floating in the glass. ""What in the world is this?"" The bartender says, ""Central Park."""
"What makes a hockey player laugh? (Warning: Cheesy) Slapstick Comedy!"
"What do you call a malady effecting reproduction in turtles? A reptile dysfunction"
"The longest Joke in the world. I don't know if its ever been posted on here but here it is again if it has! http://longestjokeintheworld.com/"
"What's the difference between a redditor and a dead baby? The redditor never gets gold"
"What has teeth but no mouth? A comb or a saw."
"Saw some Advil on the floor this morning and sincerely thought ""Better just leave it there so I know where it is."""