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Joke of the Day

"Why won't Monica Lewinsky vote for Hillary as president? The last Clinton presidency left a bad taste in her mouth."

"I don't know why I even bother having an iPhone anymore. It spends so much time on charge, you might as well call it a landline."

"What happens when you combine an alpha particle and a beta particle? They become alpha-beta-cle"

"someone just asked ""how do u delete yo life"" U CHEW ON A GRENADE WIT THE PIN OUT"

"[God making a planet for the first time and just constantly screwing things up] Ugh, first world problems."

"Stan: I won 92 goldfish. Fred: Where are you going to keep them ? Stan: In the bathroom Fred: But what will you do when you want to take a bath ? Stan: Blindfold them !"

"I want a real relationship; not a Facebook one"

"Say what you want about pedophiles... ...at least they don't speed in school zones."

"[SKYRIM JOKE] Why didn't the Nords win the theater audition? They should have acted."

"Alcohol is our worst enemy Good thing Jesus taught us all to love our enemies."