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Joke of the Day

"Orange is the new black Is what a Trump says after fucking a Kardashian."

"We're probably less than 20 years away from the first president to wear skinny jeans."

"I don't want to live on in the hearts of my countrymen, I want to live on in my apartment."

"I've always been a dog person, but I have never had a close friend that was a cat person. I just find that cats taste too gamy."

"When I was in jail I was asked by one of the rather large inmates, ""you wana be the poppa or the momma?"" I responded with ""Poppa""..... ""then get over here and suck mommas dick"""

"""Hey, wanna hangout?"" ""Later."" ""Now?"" ""No, later"" ""How about now?"" ""Jesus christ."" -if Adobe Updater was your friend"

"The main difference between kids and dogs is that kids grow out of following you to the bathroom"

"How does an Australian call his friend from the Czech Republic? Czechmate"

"Why did the coke dealer retire? He was tired of putting his business in other peoples' noses"

"Knock Knock Who's there ! Amahl ! Amahl who ? Amahl shook up !"