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Joke of the Day

"Knock Knock Who's there ! Amahl ! Amahl who ? Amahl shook up !"

"Where do wind gusts go to on dates? -To Chicago"

"I went to an extremely attractive female doctor today for my annual checkup. She told me that I had to quit masturbating. I asked why and she said, ""Because I'm trying to examine you."""

"A Priest a Rabbi and a Scientologist walk into a bar... The Priest orders an orange juice, the Rabbi orders an apple juice and the Scientologist orders a lawsuit for libel, slander and defamation."

"I DON'T WANT YOUR PITY but I'll take it."

"""What do we call this war?"" ""The World War?"" ""No. There's already been 1 of those"" ""Uh this is a world war, too"" *the streetlights explode*"

"If Tiger Wood and Princess Diana played a round of golf who would win? Tiger Woods! because he has a better driver! I'll be in hell if you need me."

"Seems like ladies hate being asked how their Thanksgiving was, no matter how playfully I pat their stomachs."

"Sometimes I wonder if I'm a hoarder and then I think,""No. But I should probably keep these used band-aids just in case."""

"[At microphone] *clears throat* ""Salsa. Ballet. Conga. Waltz. Jitterbug. Tap."" *crowd cheers* ""Thanks for attending my dance recital."""