192016

Joke of the Day

"1: Steal ice cream van 2: Drive around slowly but never stop 3: Be proud to have helped prepare children for life's many disappointments"

"Me: Whatcha doing on the PC? Daughter: Looking at peckers. M: WHAT?!? D: Science project on chickens. M: Oh. D: You walked RIGHT into that."

"from Jabba the Hutt's perspective Star Wars is the story of a guy who owed him money and then instead of paying had his friends murder him"

"With Girls Gone Wild bankrupt wild girls no longer have a home. Many of them will be put down. Please. Adopt a wild girl. Before she's gone."

"Why did the feminist refuse to work at the post office? Because it was a mail dominated industry"

"I would go for a jog today, but it looks like all of these cupcakes expire today as well."

"How did the little boy save the catholic priest's life? He found a lump on his testicle."

"My wife told me to stop listening to Wonderwall with the volume all the way up And I said MAYYYBEEEE"

"Motorist: Why are you crying after giving me that ticket? Policeman: It was a moving violation."

"What did one saggy boob say to the other? We better get some support quick or people are going to think we're nuts."