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Joke of the Day
"I would go for a jog today, but it looks like all of these cupcakes expire today as well."
Next Joke
"If you play the movie Jaws backwards it's basically a story about a shark with bulimia."
"Chuck Norris can start a fire by rubbing two ice cubes together."
"How do you get down off an Elephant? You don't. You get down off a duck."
"Hitler started the first ever Jewish Marathon.. But he couldn't finish the race"
"Happy Groundhog Day everybody!!! So put your little hand in mine and there ain't no hill or mountain we can't climb..."
"Canada in view of recent events will be changing the maple leaf on the flag to a marijuana plant. That way the people of Quebec will have good reason to burn the flag."
"Being a parent means hiding in a closet to eat a donut so you don't have to share."
"Me: I won't be in due to a VOLCANO Boss: ..we live, in Florida..? Me: IRRELEVANT Boss: Me: *opens 3rd bottle of vodka, puts on arm floaties*"
"This father says to his son, ""Stop playing with yourself you'll go blind."" The son says, ""I'm over here, dad."""