191879

Joke of the Day

"When I ""rage against the machine"" the machine is usually a printer."

"What did the Bra say to the Hat? I'll hang around here, you go on a head."

"Where are the baby leeks? In it's nappy! (diaper for my american friends) (I work in a supermarket, this is how I pass the time)"

"How many children do I want to have? Kind of a weird question for a first date, but umm I guess enough to finish the temple"

"The other day, I was going down on my girlfriend, I said to her, ""Jeez you got a big pussy. Jeez you got a big pussy."" She said, ""Why did you say that twice?"" I said, ""I didn't."""

"I made a false deity out of bubble wrap today I call Him Pop Idol"

"How many decades of knowing someone before it's rude to ask what their name is?"

"How do you make a hormone? ... Don't pay her."

"Welcome to drugs club, Todd. I can't believe someone actually answered the ad. You're under arrest."

"Why couldn't the Hungarian programmer buy a third long? Because he only had Forints! Thank you thank you, tip your waiter."