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Joke of the Day

"Why couldn't the Hungarian programmer buy a third long? Because he only had Forints! Thank you thank you, tip your waiter."

"Why do Jewish men have to be Circumcised? Because Jewish women won't touch anything unless its 20% off."

"As I get older, more and more of my Christmas wish list is just stuff I need from the grocery store."

"A fish swims into a wall Dam"

"I haven't told anyone but last night I let my husband indulge his ""scat"" fetish. I'm glad I got that off my chest."

"Battlefield calls 911 Battlefield: Hi I'd like to turn myself in for a murder 911: Who's the victim? Battlefield: Call of Duty"

"What driver doesn't have a license? A screwdriver"

"sdkgnosdngosdg;klm'gtmq[rasmgladmgladmgladmngksdngksdnkgnadkfgnkasgnkpasngksangkasngkdsgksgnkdgnkdgk; I just hacked the CIA [redacted]"

"CARPET SALESMAN: [sighing, handing me another sample] What about this one for your bedroom? ME: Hmmm no that one is also far too small"

"What an upset manly clock with boobs says to another manly clock with boobs who doesn't arrives in time for their homossexual dating? You man nipple lated me"