191826

Joke of the Day

"Did you hear about the contortionist that fell in love? She was heels over head for him!"

"I love when commercials are like ""because four million people can't be wrong,"" because then I'm like, ""Really? even Nazi Germany?"""

"What do you call it when a dinosaur can't get it up? ereptile dysfunction"

"What do you call a horse that's thinking of home? Mentally in-stable."

"[In elevator] Penguin: what floor do you want? Man: 5th please. *penguin accidentally slaps all the buttons with his fin*"

"Did you guys hear about the Italian chef who had food poisoning? He pasta way."

"My wife and i were happy for 20 years. Then we met."

"The biggest lie in advertising is someone taking a bite of a hard shell taco & it not immediately exploding in their hands."

"What's big and hairy and goes 'beep beep'? A monster in a traffic jam."

"What's the difference between peanut butter and jam? (a little nsfw) I can't peanut butter my dick up your ass!"