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Joke of the Day

"I love when commercials are like ""because four million people can't be wrong,"" because then I'm like, ""Really? even Nazi Germany?"""

"""You can't tell me what to do!"" I screamed, and ate the packet of silica gel."

"What do you call a woman that won't make a sandwich? An ambulance."

"I dunno why people say hurtful things like... ""Wanna go for a run?"" or ""Try this kale."""

"What do you call a cross between a gorilla and a monkey? A cross."

"[At a One Direction concert] No, I'm not a...I SAID NO I'M NOT A BIG ONE DIRECTION FAN I JUST HATE MYSELF AND FEEL THE NEED TO SELF PUNISH"

"Not a joke, but just wondering, am I the only one who reads these jokes in a Southern accent?"

"News: Boy George's reptile bites 5 people in one day.' He needs a calmer chameleon."

"How does Moses make coffee? Hebrews it."

"Why do black people smell bad? So blind people can hate them too"