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Joke of the Day

"I swallowed a piece of string yesterday when it came out my other end it was tied in a bow I shit you not!"

"The problem with the French is that they don't have a word for entrepreneur. -George.W.Bush"

"""Daddy, there's a mime under the bed!"" That's ridiculous, why would you think that? ""Listen!"" *complete silence* OH DEAR GOD RUN"

"There are two secrets to being a successful businessman. 1) Never tell people everything you know... 2)"

"I just want to hug this out. With my hands around your neck type of hug. What I mean is, I want to strangle you."

"Call me a stun gun Because I'm going to shock you with a bad joke."

"The types of Dolls in a Man's Life There are 3 types of Dolls in a Man's Life: 1 His Daughter , Baby Doll 2 His Girlfriend , Barbie Doll Aaand then His wife, PANA-DOLL"

"A redhead tells her blonde stepsister... ...""I slept with a Brazilian...."" The blonde replies, ""Oh my God! You slut! How many is a brazilian?"""

"Haven't heard from my boyfriend in 3 days. Trying to start a prayer chain. He blocked me after I set up a wedding website so please RT."

"Why do chemists enjoy working with ammonia? Because it's pretty basic stuff."