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Joke of the Day

"People only want to do drugs named after women: Mary Jane, Molly, Lucy (in the Sky with Diamonds). No one wants to snort some Craig."

"A woman asked a female doctor if she had aids ... ""Yes, I do. They're busy now, but they'll be with you shortly."""

"Here's a joke for all you mind readers out there..."

"On the way to school... tl;dr"

"My girlfriend's daughter was laying across my legs. Me: What am I a pillow now? Her: Yep, and pillows don't talk. I think we're bonding."

"What do you get if you cross an alien and a hot drink ? Gravi-tea !"

"Im tired of the movies, I miss the Transformers cartoon. That's when Optimus was in his prime"

"FACT: If you don't own a suit, you get to stay in your twenties forever."

"I accidentally ate a piece of rope... I shit you knot"

"Me: Close your eyes. Give me your hand, darling. Can you feel my heart beating? Do you unders... Dr:(removes stethoscope) Really? Everytime?"