114285

Joke of the Day

"Did you hear about the parrot who lives in a bilingual household? It speaks a pidgin language."

"If there is ever a corn army, I'll join it... ...and I'll be the colonel."

"She wanted to be friends with benefits, but I said no because she didn't offer dental."

"Don Draper and Meiosis get together for an advertisement meeting. They agree on one thing. Sex Cells."

"How many livers do people have? I want to make sure I have a backup before I put this thing on Ebay."

"Why is the sport of cricket called cricket? A: **Because it's boring.** *Was told this by a 10 year old, and didn't quite get it at first, but I think it's rather genius.*"

"So a guy sexually lays on top n' stuff on many rolling pins and does a good job. He's on a roll!"

"Which has less drunks: an Irish wedding or an Irish funeral? An Irish funeral has one less drunk."

"My girlfriend asked me if I wanted to reheat the leftover turkey from last night's NYE dinner. I told her I quit hot food, cold turkey"

"Guerrilla Glue It only works when you don't look at it."