191691
Joke of the Day
"What do you call ravens trying to marry crows. Conspiracy to commit murder."
Next Joke
"A doctor reaches into his smock to get a pen to write a prescription and pulls out a rectal thermometer. ""Oh, damn it,"" he proclaims, ""Some asshole has my pen"
"The philosopher says the glass is half empty, the optimist says the glass is half full.... The sjw says the glass is half-fluid."
"Why did the english student get an F? His poem had ABAD rhyme pattern."
"Is anybody else having trouble logging into my wife's Facebook account?"
"Too much of my life is spent trying to think of something to write on people's FB walls for their birthday other than ""Happy Birthday!"""
"Two drums and a symbol fall off a cliff... [www.instantrimshot.com](http://instantrimshot.com/classic/?sound=rimshot)"
"I'm pretty sure these people at the next table are talking about how paranoid I am."
"If A Democrat Wins, I'm Leaving, If a Republican wins, I'm also leaving. This has nothing to do with politics. I just really want to travel."
"Two condoms are walking down a street... When they come across a gay bar, one condom turns to the other and asks, ""What do you think? Feel like getting shit-faced tonight?"""