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Joke of the Day

"[at funeral] My brother was so realistic and sensible. I guess you could say- *casket is lowered into the ground* -he was down to earth."

"Ted: ""Dad, why don't I have a middle name?"" Dad: ""Actually son, Ted is your middle name. Your first name is Adop"""

"Did you hear Giuseppe went to the bowling alley last night? Ebola perfect game!"

"Two condoms drive by a gay bar... One turns to the other and says ""let's get shit-faced!"""

"Funny jokes for kids http://kids-funny-jokes.blogspot.com"

"They say when a Japanese girl is really turned on... The pixels will align."

"A joke I tried to make about the difference between British and American government. (Bad language) One of our politicians fucked a pig's head All of your politicians are pig headed fuckers"

"[writing own obituary before going to the zoo just in case] ""his hatred of lions was well known and dreamt of fighting one two of them"""

"What is the difference between a vacuum cleaner and a drunk bass player? You have to plug one of them in before it sucks."

"How did they know Princess Diana had dandruff? They found her head and shoulders on the dashboard."