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Joke of the Day

"I don't have time to babysit ppl's feelings. Speak up. How I'm suppose to know what's wrong with you?"

"What's the difference between a nail and a painting? It only takes one nail to hang a painting."

"Geophysics Joke That argument is so weak, it can still be measured on the Richter Scale! Randomly popped into my head while watching an earthquake documentary."

"I wasn't planning on sleeping with that alchemist, but one thing Pb to another..."

"I've replaced my neighbors toothpaste with Napalm, and left him a free pack a cigarettes. Now we wait."

"Early to bed, early to rise makes people suspicious."

"Nobody's perfect! Q: What did the verb say when the words have, has, and had were removed from the English language? A: ""Nobody's perfect!"""

"Working on my new book, ""How to Get Through Life Without Reading."""

"If you have 4 pencils and 7 apples, how many pancakes will fit on the roof? Purple. Because aliens don't wear hats."

"How do German bread greet each other? Gluten tag!"