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Joke of the Day

"What is the difference between 'light' and 'hard'? I can sleep with a light on."

"Hillary Clinton could be the first f president I was going to write female but the emale got deleted."

"Happy Birthday Girlfrien. I didn't put the D because you'll get that later."

"Have you ever tried eating a clock? It's very time consuming. EDIT: Also, I don't want my time to go to waist. Courtesy of /u/Carter127"

"Why was yellow angry at red? Red blue green."

"What do Japanese Kids, Chinese Democracy and German Humor have in common? All are equally oxymoronic."

"Sorry, page 2 of Google searches."

"Osama bin Laden threatened Russia: If you get caught up in this war... I'll hide from you too!"

"What do jokes and penises have in common? The short ones are never good."

"How do you know when you're turning 40? When your candy jar is filled with Tums..... My wife just came up with that one... Birthday is next week.. Ugh"