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Joke of the Day
"Why was yellow angry at red? Red blue green."
Next Joke
"Nobody on this train is decent enough to give up their seat for a pregnant woman & now I gotta stand here w/my sweater balled up in my coat."
"When your kids are little you're a super hero.When they're teens you're a super villain. After that, your only power is invisibility."
"Wife: ""Did you know that some idiot paid $96,000 for Princess Leia's gold bikini?"" Me: [nervously tightening my robe] ""Who would do that?"""
"What do you call an ape that's both extremely frugal and fearful? A cheap pansy"
"I went to see Walt Disney on ice It was a bit disappointing, just an old bloke in a freezer."
"I used to complain about the bright car lights in my rear view mirror I removed it awhile ago, and haven't looked back since."
"Girl, you put the sexy in dyslexia."
"What's Ellen Pao's husband's favourite web plugin? Ponzi Buddy."
"Heading down to the Autopsy Club later. It's open Mike night."