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Joke of the Day

"[spelling bee] Your word is 'impossible' ""Oh, well I guess no point in trying"" *walks off stage*"

"What music service do potatoes like to use? Spudify."

"Don't spell part backwards. It's a trap."

"What's the worst trick you can do to your blind brother? Leave the plunger in the pot."

"Q: How can you tell when Clinton is ready for battle [in Bosnia]? A: He's got his jogging suit on."

"I'm an old guy, and I fuck at least 3 super hot girls in their mid 20's every week I'm a student loan collector"

"Whenever someone jokingly replies, ""Blocked,"" I laugh and laugh and then go check."

"What kind of foods do arthritic cannibals love to eat? Finger foods..."

"3:Mommy why do I have to wear a coat, it's not that cold out!? Me:So other Moms don't judge me and talk shit, Buddy."

"Just thinking up snappy comebacks to painful conversations I had 22 years ago. What are YOU doing?"