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Joke of the Day

"10 Easy Steps to Learn Binary: 1) There are 1's and 0's 10) There are no 2's"

"What's the difference between a musician and a suicide bomber? A musician wears his heart on his sleeve. A suicide bomber wears his spleen on your shoes."

"My wife urged me to be more experimental in the bedroom, but I guess she wasn't expecting I'd be dissecting so many white mice."

"Me: [bursts into wife's meeting] BABE, IT HAPPENED! Wife: Dave, I'm at wo- Me: I paid for 6 [empties chicken nuggets on table] I got 7"

"My ""Metapod"" has been having some problems When I used Harden . . . It failed. So I tried to find something to help it. After asking my doctor, he said the best option would be to use a PP Up."

"What do you call a cheap circumcision? A rip off. D:"

"What happened to the McDonald's Cook when he stuck his dick in the pickle slicer? They both got fired."

"The only thing worse than Friday the 13th, is Monday the 13th"

"Why was the paralysed man uncool? Because he was lame."

"""Fruit OR Vegetable?"" *pic of apple* fruit. *pic of carrot* vegetable *pic of Ryan Seacrest on life support* oh geez idk"