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Joke of the Day
"The only thing worse than Friday the 13th, is Monday the 13th"
Next Joke
"What makes a little bit of sense, but you'll never understand? Hobos"
"[posing nude] ME: make sure to capture all of my body's contours DMV GUY: again, this is entirely inappropriate for a license photo"
"I found an old unframed oil painting in my loft yesterday of a beautiful naked lady so i mounted it"
"how many mice do you need to screw in a light bulb? just 2. The hard part is getting them into the light bulb."
"I hate it when people say Amsterdam is only for smoking weed. I mean c'mon, there's prostitutes too!"
"[Dentist's] Me: *lying back with mouth full of cotton wool* Dentist: So what do you do? Equipment trolley 3ft away: I'm a ventriloquist"
"I've just bought a house with period features She hates that nickname."
"Bought some shoes from my drug dealer Pretty shitty ones though, he's a drug dealer, not a shoe salesman."
"Gay guys make some people mad... They get me anal..."