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Joke of the Day

"Freedom of expression is great... I can make a kissy face, smiley face or a frowny face, and there's not a damn thing anyone can do about it"

"I like my violence how I like my beer... Domestic."

"I feel like a million bucks today.. Seriously, how do I get rid of this erection? I'm getting worried."

"What's the most wicked thing a group of young accountants can do? Go into town and gang-audit someone."

"A man that recently turned blind stabbed himself because he couldn't see the point anymore."

"Our Sins So what if the whole Hilary/Trump presidential race is a result of of that last guy who didn't forward that chain mail causing the end of the world..."

"How do you get a red wine stain off a baby?"

"If you can read this, you're standing too close to my iPhone!"

"Chuck Norris can't get through his steak breakfast without a fifth of whiskey."

"My neighborhood barber just got arrested for selling drugs.. I've been his customer for 6 years. I had no idea he was a barber."