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Joke of the Day

"My neighborhood barber just got arrested for selling drugs.. I've been his customer for 6 years. I had no idea he was a barber."

"The best part of the Titanic is when Rose is holding onto Jack and she's all like, 'I'll never let go' and then she lets go."

"90% of being a parent is shouting, ""Remember to flush the toilet."" The other 10% is flushing the toilet for everyone."

"In my doctor's waiting room, I explained to a WWII veteran what a Twitter follower count is. I think he regrets winning the war now."

"What is the difference between Jamaicans and Jewish people? Their reaction when someone asks if they want to get baked."

"What did the dog say to the man? Nothing stupid, dogs don't talk."

"Twitter reminds me of what my grandpa always used to say, 'Who are you people and what are you all jabbering about anyway?'"

"Shocked to see Gravity win a special effects award. Thought it was actually filmed in space"

"""Go down, Moses."" And he did. And that's why the ladies loved him."

"Just ask Tommy Hilfiger it out."