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Joke of the Day

"If you can read this, you're standing too close to my iPhone!"

"I was walking down the road... ...when the guy in front of me turned around and started throwing milk, eggs, yoghurt and butter at me. I thought, ""How dairy!""."

"Why does Kim Jong Un have an email? So he can eat all the spam."

"You know why it's women and children first off of a sinking ship? It's so that the men can have some peace and quiet to figure out a solution."

"What do brunettes and red-heads do on Friday nights? Make blonde jokes!"

"Twitter is the only place where you're thrilled when a complete stranger starts following you."

"Who sits at the end of the yellow brick road surfing the Net? The www.izard of Oz."

"Me: do you like bad boys? Her: no Me: are you sure? Her: [covers her dog's ears] okay yes"

"Some people are like Slinkies... They're not really good for anything, but they still bring a smile to your face when you push them down a flight of stairs."

"What do you call a lesbian Pakistani? Minge eater"