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Joke of the Day

"Hearing someone say 'first world problems' is now almost worse than many third world problems."

"Festive Fact: Women who put on weight over the festive period are 98% more likely to live longer than their partners who point it out."

"One iPhone in an Apple Two iPhones is a pear."

"I went camping in the snow. As the snow melted, water leaked in. It was the winter of my discount tent."

"I'm very serious about my cereal. I'm all about that Life."

"I say no to alcohol every day. It just doesn't listen."

"The fact that you can feel sad, then listen to a song and feel better proves that feelings are stupid."

"What do you call a dog that does magic? A labracadabrador"

"A fortnight is equal to 14 nights. Unless you live in a fort,, it is equal to one night.. Fort math is only complicated to non-fort dwellers."

"Did you know that all Bicyclists are colorblind? Cause they can't tell Green from Red!"