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Joke of the Day
"I greet all my daughter's boyfriends with, ""I used to molest guys like you in prison."""
Next Joke
"How do you drown a hipster? In the mainstream."
"one small step for man one giant step for a really small man"
"Lee was born without legs, but he was incredibly determined to finish the triathlon. Slow Lee but sure Lee."
"If life gives you melons, you might have dyslexia."
"The lady next door ran over my cat. She said she'd replace it, so I asked her how good she was at catching mice. Courtesy of Mary Poppins."
"How do you get a dead turtle to flip itself back over on its feet?... You take the letter F out of way."
"What do you call two lesbians on a canoe? Fur Traders"
"There are two major differences between beer and women. When you take the top off a beer, it can't change its' mind, and it can easily be bought and replaced."
"Next time you kill thousands of innocent people in a disaster, tell the judge you ""work in mysterious ways"" and see how far it gets you."