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Joke of the Day

"If life gives you melons, you might have dyslexia."

"What's the difference between ignorance and apathy? I don't know and I don't"

"Talking to my friend about how useless I am with ladies... Me: ""I even had to stand on a damn ladder yesterday just to kiss my date goodnight..."" Him: ""Wow, was she tall?"" ""No, she hung herself."""

"Her: Well, I know I told you that. Me: *closes eyes* Her: What are you doing? Me: Checking for it in my spam folder."

"There are two types of people in the world. Those that can find an answer through simple deduction."

"I was at a restaurant and didn't have any money left after paying for my meal. So I tipped the waitress my fedora."

"I kill people for a living with my jokes! HAHAHAHAHHAHA FUCK YOU"

"What is the body temperature of a Tauntaun? (Star Wars) Luke-warm."

"What do you call a snake that makes a lot of noise when it eats? A slurpent."

"What's the difference between Bono and God? God doesn't walk around Dublin pretending he's Bono"