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Joke of the Day
"I put the ""m"" in illiterate"
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"No one beats the Jackson 5! Except their father."
"What's pink has five toes and is carried by the Easter Bunny? His lucky people's foot!"
"I was suffering from constipation the other day but I really didn't care In fact, I didn't even give a shit."
"I just heard the words ""she received an academic scholarship from the university of Alabama."" I never thought I'd hear ""academic scholarship"", ""university"" and ""Alabama"" in the same sentence."
"Want a slutty costume? Dress up as my professors, they barely cover up anything important."
"My son asked me what it is like to be married.. So I deleted all the music on his ipod except for 1 song."
"[bill gates house] Bill: What's on at the cinema? Wife: Let me google it and- *terrified look at bill* Wife: Let me bing it and see."
"What town in the continental United States produces the most alligator pears per year? Avo, CA does."
"What do you call a Mexican in Canada? ACCOMPLISHED. They crossed two borders!"