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Joke of the Day

"There are two major differences between beer and women. When you take the top off a beer, it can't change its' mind, and it can easily be bought and replaced."

"I'm so pale all of my relationships are interracial."

"How many dead babies does it take to screw in a light bulb? Definitely not 9, my basement is still dark"

"What's the difference between a Chickpea and a Lentil? I wouldn't pay 200 to have a lentil on my face"

"We all have one ginger friend that claims to be ""strawberry blonde""."

"Bacon eggs and toast walk into a bar. The bartender looks up and says ""sorry we don't serve breakfast here"""

"A guy I know got bitten by a radioactive bedbug. He spent 3 weeks in a coma, but when he came round again he was able to fold a fitted sheet"

"It's hard to stop being depressed Because gravity is always bringing me down."

"Mike said he's breaking up w/ u cause you're not very smart & u have issues Me: OMG I DO NOT HAVE HIS SHOES WE DONT EVEN WEAR THE SAME SIZE"

"Too bad the Kardashian show couldn't be like ""The Ring"" and kill anyone who watches it."