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Joke of the Day

"If at first you don't succeed, blame someone else and seek counseling."

"I buy all my guns from a guy that calls himself T-Rex... He's a small arms dealer."

"What did the flower couple call their two babies? Poli, Nate"

"If I'm ever reincarnated I hope I get to be a bear because I'll be like ""stop playing dead, I used to be human. That shits not gonna work!"""

"I'd definitely watch a show with Dr. Phil going door to door reading people's Google search history out-loud with the most judgmental stare."

"Never end a tweet with a question mark. People will talk to you."

"I saw a tranny in a miniskirt the other day I thought, that shows a lot of balls"

"If I enjoy drawing black people, does that make me a furry?"

"Waiter: What can I get for you? Me: Steak, please. W: How would you like that cooked? M: By anyone other than my wife"

"what room zombies and vampires can't enter? the living room."