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Joke of the Day

"If I'm ever reincarnated I hope I get to be a bear because I'll be like ""stop playing dead, I used to be human. That shits not gonna work!"""

"Facebook is essentially a machine that eats time and shits thumbs."

"I think my girlfriend might be pregnant... ...I just laughed at a Dad joke."

"I tried to steal a didgeridoo from a museum... I didgeri-shouldn't-have-done-that. 3 years...."

"""You're mother."" (thing to say to your mother)."

"What do you call the sweat on your balls after sex with your cousin? Relative humidity."

"Now that Britain has left the EU, you'll need a Visa to get in and around ...for everything else, there's Mastercard."

"What do you call a cow with one udder? A bull."

"Why are Jews so good at making action movies? Shlo-mo."

"The Physics Department didn't like my Stephen Hawking jokes... ...They all got bent out of shape."