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Joke of the Day

"My friend threw a pebble at me for not giving him the video game he wanted for Christmas... I just said 'Let he who is without sims throw the first stone'."

"They should make a Bollywood movie about a poor Punjabi guy that wins a singing contest against all odds. It'd be called Singh: A Song"

"I'd like to be so rich I forgot what country I left my private jet at after a crazy weekend"

"Trump University is getting a bad rap. My nephew went there and he can poop in a toilet AND say the N-word."

"Why did the goal post get angry? Because the bar was rattled!"

"Ex-Girlfriend: I heard you & your new girlfriend are having problems... Well, you've always got my number. Me: Yes, is it still 666?"

"If you are living your life without giving an ""f"", You are living a li[ ]e."

"Apparently someone in London gets stabbed every 90 seconds. Poor guy."

"My girlfriend is like John Cena I can't see her :("

"Hollywood hasn't remade Spiderman in a couple weeks. I hope they're okay."