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Joke of the Day

"Hollywood hasn't remade Spiderman in a couple weeks. I hope they're okay."

"I love it when the playoff picture begins to develop in baseball. That means football is beginning."

"Have you been to /r/brucejennerspenis? I heard it was removed."

"guaranteed Smile... possible Snigger if carrots got you drunk, rabbits would be fucked up"

"Asking ""Why aren't you married yet"" is like asking ""Why haven't you jumped from a moving car yet?"" B/c it's painful and not required"

"Me: hey squirrel, dnt steal d pigeon's food, the eggs are about to hatch S: u stole a cake frm ur roomate Me: Me: here, take the eggs too"

"I like my cream like I like my slaves. Whipped"

"My lovelife is like a ferrari. I can't afford it."

"The karate student kept killing all his teachers... I guess he became desenseitized"

"Teacher: What are the Great Plains? Pupil: 747 Concorde and F-16!"