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Joke of the Day

"Black people don't have inside voices, they only have ""I want to make sure everyone fucking hears this"" voices."

"No thanks, babies. If I'm going to let something inside of my body that's going to destroy my figure, it'll be cheese, bread and booze."

"A guy I know got hit in the head with a can of soda He was lucky it was a soft drink"

"Astrogeologists: do telescope/remote sensing on distant objects. Astrologists: use horoscope/do not remotely make sense/object when dissed."

"Did you hear about the new protagonist in Mass effect 4? It's Commander Lamb. (From a friend of mine... Told it to me while we were in a party chat)"

"I can't even I feel the phrase ""I can't even"" is rather odd."

"What do you call an unborn child that is excessively ready to accept failure? A defetus"

"Yo mama is so fat... Yo mama is so fat She needs three extra syllables To fit in a haiku"

"First cannibal: I don't know what to make of my husband these days. Second cannibal: How about a curry?"

"What do you call a magician in a Dr. Seuss book? Who-dini"